Let the cuddles begin.

Paul took some fantastic shots of Gus.

And the girls got to hold their cousin.

(He was trying very hard to talk back to Stella here.)

Lots of gummy smiles but still yet to catch one on camera.

In order to get to the spider we’d need to move the baby.

What to do?

It’s so true!

I suppose it’s because he’s so very small and he’s relying 100% on me to protect him. And because it’s all very new. And because I already love him so much that it breaks my heart to even think of these things happening.

But I do think of them quite a bit. And it doesn’t help that things actually happen to other people.

There was a woman in Melbourne last year who was talking on her cell phone while walking her newborn. When she turned around, someone had stolen her pram. Can you imagine? But then when the police and everyone started looking, they found it had actually rolled over the bank and into the water.

When I heard about this last year I thought ‘how sad’. And when I think of it now I can hardly keep it in my head, it makes me feel such incredible pain for the mother.

I also am feeling particularly empathic towards parents of kids who get diseases as well as towards babies who don’t have people to dote on them.

Before you call for an intervention, I’m not feeling this way for hours at a time -just little flashes. I’m actually very happy these days and loving it. He’s getting a bit rolly polly, by the way and his eyes are starting track more things. Oh, and I went to the doctor today to get a pill that boosts milk supply. She said Gus was cute -clearly she’s a very smart woman.

We went in with a big list of questions (including: “bump on back of head?” “sleeping long enough?” “gas?!”) all of which he dismissed with a don’t-be-silly air.

Which was somehow comforting.

I’ll be sure to keep you updated. Although I don’t think this is one he’ll let me continue into his teenage years.

I was sitting in my Early Childhood afternoon group, listening to the midwife talk to one of the other women about putting babies to sleep. She was saying that you need to put them down immediately, at the first signs of tiredness and without elaborate comforting in your arms so that they learn to fall asleep on their own and don’t need the association of your warmth to do it.

It sounds great but this tactic only works every once in awhile with Gus. He usually cries right away in his bed and need to be more sleepy before he’ll stay calm enough to go to sleep. And sometimes he needs to already be asleep when I put him down. So, having heard her say this before, I had been feeling bad and confused that we weren’t able to do it right.

But then just that morning, my lactation consultant had come over and we had a big talk about the two sides to this whole debate (with one side promoting controlled crying and the other promoting almost constant holding) and she basically said there was a middle ground where it was fine to hold him to sleep in the first 3 months. That the wrapping, rocking and patting were teaching him to sleep as well.

I felt so much better. Finally not confused. And I realized that I really needed that certainty right now. Really needed to know my next step in the middle of the night and in the face of crying. Really needed a strategy.

But that afternoon as I was listening to the midwife again, I could see her point and could feel the doubts creeping in again and could see my new calm floating away.

So I bore down on it. I held on tight and I felt my mind saying ‘No’ to the midwife. I felt the arguments forming in my defense. And I felt myself thinking “you’re wrong.”

And that’s when I realized: this is how it happens! This is where all the adamant opinions come from. Well at least some, it seems.

So now I’m back (again) to the solid understanding that there’s no wrong way -it’s really what feels best for Gus. So funny what a big deal this can feel like at times.

(Gratuitous picture of Gus thrown in)

He wasn’t so good at finding the eggs we hid though.

Not yet the brightest bulb in the chandelier.