One more thought on boredom

Just wanted to clarify that I didn’t think my own friends were vacuous once they became Mothers. If anything, I assumed (without any evidence) that they had to be bored a lot of the time -you know, in addition to the incredible highs that came with their cutie pies.

That’s why I was surprised by my reactions to the Mums in my groups -I hadn’t realised I had such a negative generic stereotype in my head.

And I do think, as Lena said, that it comes from the corporate culture where if you take time off for any reason, you’re seen as less serious -less of a player.

I think things would be very different if most men took several months out to care of kids. I bet the whole issue of ‘missing out’ would shift.

3 thoughts on “One more thought on boredom

  1. It comes from the corporate culture…you mean your assumptions about children being boring? I don’t get that connection.

    I also don’t get why wanting to work hard in a career would have anything to do with babies being boring or not. How are the two even related?

    I guess I have never understood why someone would want to work over being with their family. But since I have neither a real job or a family I guess I am just talking about my fat butt.

  2. Oh golly, I wrestled with this one too. I really didn’t want to be one of those women who on becoming a mum, pushed away all other aspects of their lives. I genuinely thought that having a baby could be a sort of sideline hobby that sat alongside all the other bits of me.

    I had no idea how much little Joe would hijack my mental space and interest although I should have guessed that I would become obsessed with understanding the experience of motherhood (sometimes I freak out the other mums by asking questions too profound – I forget that I’m not running a focus group).

    A colleague asked the other day if I was finding wnough to occupy my mind. I gaped at him speechless, my mind has never been so full.

  3. I’ve been thinking it might be something to do with all those years of doing groups with different types of people who each had the potential to be interesting individuals with their own opinions, lifestyle choices etc – and then always lumping together ‘Mums’ as homogenous, one-dimensional people basically there to share what happens for everyone else in their household? Sad now of course but I’m pretty sure thats how they (we) always tended to be discussed in that world..

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