Boredom

I thought motherhood would be boring. I just assumed. Maybe it was based on babysitting experiences as a teen-ager when I’d have no idea how to talk to the little buggers and would just be counting down the hours till they went to bed and I could watch The Love Boat.

And so I developed really negative stereotypes in my head of Mums. If babies were boring, then how vacuous did Mums have to be in order to love it?

I realized that I still felt that way when I met with my mother’s group for the third time and the conversation finally got round to what we all did before these wiggly things were plonked in our lives. There were writers and lawyers and business owners… smart people. And funny. And at one point, we were talking about motivations to lose weight and one woman said she wanted to fit back into her business suits by the time she went back to work, one said she wanted to by the time her partner returned from active duty and a third one said she wanted to in time for the upcoming fetish ball.

There went my last mum stereotype, right out the window.

But the thing that’s the most surprising is how unboring it all is. I look at what I do most days and see huge chunks of time when I’m just hanging out with Gus. And it’s relaxing, and fun, and even interesting. Just staring at him is grand.

My friend Lou commented that boredom is actually the inability to pay attention. Nicely put. Gus is a whole lot of fun to pay attention to most of the time. Even when nothing happens. Maybe due to my zen? Or perhaps just the breastfeeding hormones.

In any case, here is a minute of our time today in the park. And just to warn you, nothing happens. It was lovely.

11 thoughts on “Boredom

  1. That was beautiful, Em. I played the video twice, because it was so peaceful and lovely. Thanks for sharing it.

  2. And I remember that day at mummies’ group. I didn’t realise I had stereotypes or any expectations about mums until the day we talked about childcare, and by extension, where we work(ed). Who knew – in our mummies group, we have two partners in law firms, a brand development/marketing executive, an almost published author, and….me. A bureaucrat. Rather humbling. But we’re all obsessed with sleep and burps and poop and baby clothes. Babies – The Great Equalisers.

  3. What a beautiful moment that you’ve captured, Em. I think I may return to your moment when I need a little boost. And I totally understand your comments on motherhood, versus the “real” lives that we modern women should be living. To be honest, until I had Lila, I always sort of thought that my Mom had let herself down (sorry Mom!) because she always said that her aspiration was to be the best mom possible, and I always thought she was capable of so much more. Like motherhood was just the feminine default, the standby if you couldn’t cut it in the real world of business or trade. And now, most days, I would give anything to be spending my days trying really hard to be a good Mom instead of sitting at the computer in my office or in meetings or pretending to be a competent business woman. I guess I finally understand, just like Mom always said I would when I had my own kids…

  4. Nothing happens?? absolutely not true…looks like some serious deep bonding going on – lovely 😉 And pleased the shots were better this time poor little thing.. maybe the osteo was just placebo or something! Anyway, I had exactly the same preconceptions about mothers group until we did the same share, sad really isn’t it?

  5. Hey Em,

    My friend’s grandma always used to say, “only boring people are bored.” Made me think about that. 🙂

  6. Em,
    He is the picture of you at that age. What a beauty and such a serene situation. So glad you’ve all got us old mums figured out. Love you
    Y

  7. It is so gratifying to read what Lena wrote. It is times like this that I realize how sad it is I wasn’t able to share that newly found awareness with my own mom before she left us. Being a mom has been the most important, challenging, satisfying, wisdom building and heart-fulfilling job I could ever aspire to.

    I am in awe of you younger women who do have demanding careers and who also keep a healthy balance with family life. I don’t know where your energy comes from.

  8. Lovely indeed! I must admit…. tears came as I am sitting here in the office and someone else (that I pay way too much money to) is playing with my daughter!! I’m so jealous! Indulge as long as you can, it’s soooo worth it. Precious, priceless moments….gone in 7000 days. (Or at the teenage mark with some)

  9. Oh I am! I’m SO aware of how quickly it’s all going too. We had a solids talk at the Childhood Centre yesterday and it’s only 2 months until he’s eating!

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