These days when I walk by a construction site or when a dog comes close or when I’m crossing the street, I sometimes have horrible visions of something happening to Gus. Like a brick falling on his head. Accidents like that.
I suppose it’s because he’s so very small and he’s relying 100% on me to protect him. And because it’s all very new. And because I already love him so much that it breaks my heart to even think of these things happening.
But I do think of them quite a bit. And it doesn’t help that things actually happen to other people.
There was a woman in Melbourne last year who was talking on her cell phone while walking her newborn. When she turned around, someone had stolen her pram. Can you imagine? But then when the police and everyone started looking, they found it had actually rolled over the bank and into the water.
When I heard about this last year I thought ‘how sad’. And when I think of it now I can hardly keep it in my head, it makes me feel such incredible pain for the mother.
I also am feeling particularly empathic towards parents of kids who get diseases as well as towards babies who don’t have people to dote on them.
Before you call for an intervention, I’m not feeling this way for hours at a time -just little flashes. I’m actually very happy these days and loving it. He’s getting a bit rolly polly, by the way and his eyes are starting track more things. Oh, and I went to the doctor today to get a pill that boosts milk supply. She said Gus was cute -clearly she’s a very smart woman.