Last night was the worst one yet. Up every hour or less. Put him down completely fed only to wake again and again. I actually got angry at one point. Not at Gus but at the futility of the whole thing. Who designed this system? Is it to train me for more and more to come? These are not deadlines I can just blow off. This isn’t some ad campaign. I know I’m being dramatic. But somehow this little life is in my hands and I can’t stand the thought that I’m failing at any of the steps along the way.
The phrase ‘don’t give up’ has been used in every conversation about breastfeeding I’ve had. Last night I grabbed on to this over-used phrase and squeezed it for all it was worth. And just as it was on it’s last drops, like the dry husk of my left boob, Charles got up and saved the day.
And then went back to work for the first time this morning. Poor guy.
The day was much easier -something about the sunlight that makes it all ok. Then 3 hours of delicious sleep when C got home.
We even went out for a walk in the evening. My first time out of the house and no one in the park ran screaming. Gus loved it. Was supposed to be sleeping but just wide eyed at it all instead. Slept on the way home while being held.
He does love his cuddles.
ps I’m slowly getting to respond to comments. Sorry been so lax. LOVE them. All advice and stories (and compliments!) are absolutely wonderful -thank you!